Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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