so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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