do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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