some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I did not marry a roomba.
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