No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sobbing to NWA
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
