never play flip cup with pint glasses
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
