I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
