I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
