she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
