How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
