Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hell yes lets make some ravioli
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
