A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
