Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
