I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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