drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
