didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i came on her dog
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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