Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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