Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
