yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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