I'm gonna have a badass scar
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
