Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
