There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
