the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
