So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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