If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
