Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
