I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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