last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
