You work out of a Hotel?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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