Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
