I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
