How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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