i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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