Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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