im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
