Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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