Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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