Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
