now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
