I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
