Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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