I wish I only lived at night.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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