Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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