is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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