Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
