Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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