ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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