True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
