The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize