Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
