I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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