If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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