she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
