my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
