Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
