This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
