Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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