I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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