just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
