I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize