smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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