would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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