I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
