PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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