it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i barfeds in our rink
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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