I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
