Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
