Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
